Why I Gave Up Ministry

I have given up ministry. This may seem a strange statement coming from one who is employed to do ministry, but it is the truth.

Now, I have not given up ministry in the sense that I have left the ministry or given up on God. I am simply doing away with the word and attitude and philosophy of “ministry” in my life.

In February, I realized that God was changing my heart. He was changing me and in the process changing how and what I do. I had fallen into a mold where ministry was a way to fix people, adapt people and make them into disciples – not of Jesus, but of men. That was not who God had created me to be. That was not what I truly wanted to be. And even though my role models and mentors were that, I still had to be me. Authentically me. Truly me. Freely me.

I had fought against people trying to “fix” me or “minister” to me or “invest” in me. I wanted real relationships where I knew I was loved and respected. Relationships built on genuineness, not a structure of fitting the mold. I began to think that I might not be the only one feeling this way. Were the people that I interacted with feeling this way, too? Had I done all of the things that I hated other people doing to me?

Then, I heard that voice, just a whisper, a fleeting hint, “Yes.”

I knew. I had done that – to more people than I could count. It was a moment of truth for me. A moment of repentance and redemption and restoration.

So I gave up ministry. Just as I once gave up religion for a relationship with Jesus Christ. I gave up ministry for relationships with people. To hang out with people – not invest in them. To live life with my friends – not fix them. To love people – not minister to them.