An Outside Adventure

I am sitting here watching my cat. He is sitting by the back screen door watching the outside world. As the squirrels or birds approach, he will get into a crouched pose, ready to attack. He loves to interact with the outside world in this way. He is still a predator at heart.

However, he hates it outside. I tried to take him out once because I thought he would enjoy it. I could feel the terror in his heart as we stepped outside. I don't know if he remembers being a stray that had to fight for every meal. I don't know if he can still feel the bites of other animals, but he fought me with everything he had in him to get back to safety.

As I sit here looking at him, I have to think that I am a little like my cat. I love to look at the world and imagine all of the possibilities. I love the thought of a grand adventure. I even prepare myself for them, but when it comes time to step out of the door into the wide open world, I fight to get back in where it is safe.

Why do I live in the constant tension of stepping out into the life I was made to live and staying in the comfortable places? Why is it so much easier to bask in the sun while dreaming of adventures but rarely stepping out into the sun and taking those adventures? I don't know. Do I have it in me to actually be the person I want to be? Maybe. Someday.